If you somehow weren’t invited to the recent nuptials between Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, fret not: you have two totally genuine options to buy your very own “keepsakes.”
As TMZ points out, the very reputable-sounding website New York City Garbage is selling actual bits of trash and varied refuse found directly outside Madison Square Garden on the couples’ wedding date (Friday, July 3rd). That includes soda can tops, bits of fabric, and even a single AirPod, with each item set apparently going for $25. Somehow the AirPod is the most disgusting thing on that list?
If owning trash ain’t your bag, there’s one seller on eBay who is offering a bag of air “collected” from outside MSG, and it can be yours for a meager $49,999.99. If that seems like some combination of ridiculous and/or steep, just know that the listing has already been viewed over 200 times. And, hey, there’s only, like, a 5% chance that the bag is actually just air pulled from a Hoboken bus station.
Now, we could say plenty about these lots (besides the fact they’re practically a steal!) Like how it’s more proof that parasocial relationships online are becoming genuinely harmful. Or, that it’s another weird way in which folks have tried to commercialize Swift (and how that’s rooted in some genuine misogyny). We could just say that it’s more evidence of the ongoing and sustained “idioti-fication” of people everywhere. But we’ll offer this gem instead: If those other lots sound like good deals, we have a suitcase full of Kelce’s hopes and dreams available for just $128!
For a way to vicariously enjoy the Swift-Kelce wedding without taking out a bank loan, be sure to revisit our coverage of their big day. Highlights included Adam Sandler officiating the ceremony, MSG being turned into a literal garden, and even a special performance of “I Want to Hold Your Hand” from Paul McCartney.
@newyorkcitygarbage There’s garbage on the floor after the party. Collected from the edge of a love story outside Madison Square Garden, as close to Taylor & Travis’ big day as you could’ve gotten without an invite. This is the debut of Pocket Garbage, so you can carry a piece of the greatest day of your… I mean, their lives, wherever you go. #taylorswift #tayvis #taylorswiftwedding #taylorswifttraviskelce
