As per tradition, Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che closed out the season 51 finale of Saturday Night Live with a joke swap. This installment was particularly brutal, with jokes involving Sinners, Michael Jackson, and Kanye West, and culminating in a bit that may or not have resulted in Jost shaving his head.
Season 51 Finale Joke Swap with Colin and Che! pic.twitter.com/RelgeShg8d
— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) May 17, 2026
Colin Jost: “Mattel has introduced a new Barbie that has autism… Oh, now it’s gonna feel wrong when I have sex with it.”
Michael Che: “A new study finds that the average length of an erect penis in the country is 6.34 inches… Oh boy, that means I’m only 6 inches below average. Now I just have to figure out how to get erect.”
Jost: “Michael B. Jordan won Best Actor for his role in the vampire movie Sinners… A Black vampire is just like a white vampire, except the only thing it sucks dry is the welfare state.”
Jost: “Now, now that was just a joke. I’m not a racist, and to prove it, I, Colin Jost, hereby pledge this season’s salary to Dr. Umar Johnson’s School for Black Boys. Now y’all might know, but the brothers at home is nodding their heads. No one in our white audience understands. And if that’s not enough, I have a beautiful new ferry ready to give any Black person a free one-way trip back to the motherland.”
Che: “A new study suggests that men are less likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction if they drink grape juice, which explains why my boyfriend is always rock hard. Speaking of giving little boys juice.. the movie Michael won the box office again this weekend, and since a few members of the Jackson family are actually in the audience tonight, I wanted to take a moment to tell everybody what I really think. Michael Jackson did nothing wrong. He was right to molest all those kids. And they were lucky. I would have paid him to do it. And I did. That’s right. When I was 10 years old, Michael Jackson molested me, and the only thing it gave me was a fetish for middle-aged white women.
Jost: “Ye has released a new album called Bully, so please try to separate the art from the artist, and remember that Ye can make awful music and still be right about Hitler… Now that joke is offensive to everybody and I’d like—and I have to apologize. I’d like to sacrifice the most important thing in my life, my beautiful, award-winning, world-famous hair. That’s right. I’m shaving it off. Send in the barber. Make me unpretty.”
