*Warning: This article contains spoilers*
Donald Trump is a father-to-be, and no one is happy about it. Not the president himself, not his vice president, JD Vance, and certainly not billionaire tech mogul and conservative activist, Peter Thiel. On this week’s episode of South Park, three of the most powerful men in America are dead set on finding a way to get rid of the Antichrist growing inside of Satan.
After PC Principal mistakes the children’s obsession with the “6 7” meme for satanic numerology, he invites Thiel to speak at the school. Thiel, who touts himself as the ultimate authority on biblical prophecy and the coming of the Antichrist, makes a few of his own innocuous references to “6 7,” only to be met with laughter from the students. Convinced that South Park Elementary has embraced the forces of darkness, he seizes all of the school’s private data to monitor the children’s behavior. (Thiel co-founded the government intelligence and software company Palantir.)
Of all the students, Cartman is most tickled by the meme, quite literally vomiting every time someone mentions it. Thiel, however, believes Cartman is possessed and stages an exorcism. When that fails, Thiel decides to take Cartman with him back to Washington, DC, telling Mrs. Cartman, “Your son is the key to saving our country. Everything we hold dear could end. We have to unlock the secrets he holds, no matter what it takes.”
Along the way, Thiel stays in contact with Vance, who has a vested interest in the situation since Satan’s baby threatens his own path to the White House. (In turn, Vance promises Thiel “full access to everyone’s data” if he can put a stop to the demonic child.) Meanwhile, knowing that Trump himself no longer wants the baby — albeit for reasons mostly related to his tee times — Vance convinces the president to visit an abortion clinic, where Trump promptly drops his trousers, only to be informed that’s not how the procedure works.
Meanwhile, back at South Park Elementary, school guidance counselor Jesus Christ grows increasingly alarmed by PC Principal’s behavior, Thiel’s presence, and their warped take on Christianity. “I just don’t feel good about treating people this way,” Jesus says. In response — and after questioning Jesus’ own sexuality — PC Principal sets him up on a blind double date at the Cheesecake Factory with a “hot Christian girl” named Peggy Rockbottom. Things go south quickly, culminating in a brawl between the two in the restaurant’s bathroom.
Initially hesitant to stand up to PC Principal, Jesus eventually returns to the Cheesecake Factory to retrieve Peggy, with the episode’s final scene showing Jesus cutting his robes, shaving his beard, and flexing in the mirror: “Let’s fucking go, brah.”
The next episode is shaping up to be a doozy.
Following its premiere on Comedy Central, Season 27, Episode 6 of South Park — “Twisted Christian” — will be available to stream on Paramount+ beginning Thursday, October 16th.
